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Without taboos or sermons, dialogues and care in digital environments

Without taboos or sermons, dialogues and care in digital environments

Being a mother, father or caregiver was always a huge challenge. To the pride, emotion and happiness of raising and loving a person, is added enormous uncertainty and responsibility. Am I doing things right? Many times it is said that “children do not come with an instruction manual”, which is a great truth that crystallizes when making decisions: Do I allow him to eat sweets? What school will he go to? Can you come home alone from school? The doubts were many, and the Internet arrived! And with its massive use, the multiplication of questions and responsibilities.

At what age can you start watching cartoons? Can I lend you my mobile? Shall we give him the tablet for his birthday? Do I allow you to open an account on Tik Tok? If I don’t let him, will he do it on the sly? Is that online game that you like so much safe? Do I create a fake account to see what he posts? Shall I check your history?

Although the digital environments they multiply and generate new decisions to make, they have a great particularity: uncertainty. We observe that, many times, the classic decisions of upbringing and education have as a great model the common sense of the adults in charge. At what age can you stay home alone? Surely we do not need to google it, we will observe it and based on our common sense we will decide. The same logic applies to first nights out and so many other decisions.

How to accompany our children in digital environments

doWhat happens to us then with parenting decisions linked to digital environments? Common sense is clouded. Why? We can delve into the reasons and it is possible that the answer is linked to the low self esteem of adults around their digital skills.

There are various myths linked to adults such as digital immigrants (those who do not understand the digital language and, therefore, cannot accompany or care accordingly) and care tasks on the Internet related to technical or computer knowledge (those who do not know about computers cannot advise children on digital uses) . This produces a generalized idea that proposes that adults they would not be able to accompany, care for and raise children in digital environments because they don’t have the necessary skills.

These preconceptions did a lot of damage not only to adults, but mainly to children, who usually use solo digital platformseven when they may experience situations of tension or conflict that require adult company.

What do children need from adults on the Internet?

doHow to make decisions regarding digital environments? Common sense!Each boy and girl is unique and nobody knows them as much as their closest relatives. According to their temperament, context, links and moment of their development, decide what they are prepared for, what situations they can face and which ones they cannot, and above all, understand that the Internet is a real public space where things happen that affect everyone for better or worse. the people who use it.

Just as we wouldn’t leave them alone in a park at 5 years old, just as we wouldn’t let them decide whether to go to a disco alone at 10 years old or just as we wouldn’t let them talk to strangers at 8 years old, let’s not delegate to them and them responsibilities that they cannot face. It is key not to confuse their instrumental skills (give “play”) with reflective ones (recognize risks and manage their challenges). They need us and we must take care of them and protect them.